Why I will never yell at my daughter again

“Children grow, and we grow with them. Childhood is fleeting. May our obsession to correct it don’t stop us of enjoying it. ” (Carlos Gonzalez – Paediatrician)

I was sharing the other day on a different post that I came to the determination that I would never yell at my daughter again. Now, I need to rectify here, cause I’m in the process of it and not achieving it 100%. It’s hard to acknowledge our weaknesses but it’s good to recognise them so that we can change. And rather of this post being some sort of “confession” is just a conversation, between you and me, where I’d like to explain why I have decided this and maybe you can come to the same conclusion, just like me.

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A few weeks ago, probably over a month I was going through much stress, but not on a daily basis, I would just have some peaks every once in a while, it might have been because of feeling too tired, or because I was losing hair due to breastfeeding, or feeling weight guilty…any how, if I continue with the list this post is going to sound depressing and I’m going to depress myself just by writing it! LOL …

The thing is that my patience with J was decreasing in inverse proportion. She was just HER, as usual, the cheerful cheeky monkey that likes to play around and many times wants things on her own way. But I, I was yelling more than usual, anything would drive me round the bend. It was so unfair for her and then I remembered some wise words I read a long time ago. It was actually when I was pregnant with her and I used to read all these books about parenting, childhood, or even watching “supper-nanny”! I remembered the words from Carlos Gonzalez, a renowned Spanish paediatrician, on his book “Besame mucho” (Kiss Me) where he explained that us, as parents have the ability to control our behaviour, that when we discipline our children there is no need to raise your voice or instil fear in them. It is wrong to say “You drive me crazy” or “You’re making me mad” The blunt truth is that we are the only agents who have made the decision to get angry because of an specific situation. If you think that’s impossible, try to remember that time when you were with your boss, or some friend or a stranger, and they did something to you that you didn’t like, did you raise your voice to them or could you control yourself because otherwise you would get fired or lose a friendship or feel ashamed? See, we CAN do it! we can control ourselves, there is no excuse, and specially there is no excuse for the person you love the most.

So now, I think before I speak, I breathe before I yell and I remember that my daughter is a child, that is growing, just as I am growing,..I remember that childhood is fleeting, and that I should enjoy it along with her, because I don’t want to get fired by her! 😉

You can read more about Carlos Gonzalez on this interview. (most of the content you can find about him is in Spanish but you will probably see some works written in English as well) He is an advocate of natural upbringing and I share his views in many of these matters.

Share your thoughts with me on this! Leave a comment. 🙂

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Daddy-daughter special moments

Now it’s my time to share with you some of my experiences here in England, hahaha.

Supposing that the reason why fathers come to England is for working, and working a lot, since the “good life” that used to be in Spain doesn’t exist anymore and more over you get paid per hour, I would like to give you a brief idea of things you could do to enjoy the few spare time you may have with your child.

It is a fact that’s Summer, and this is actually one of the hottest ones that England has gone through, so you have to take advantage of the good weather. Parks in Spain are nice, but here they are even better, very wide-opened and divided in different areas so that children under 5’s can enjoy by themselves without being bothered by the grown-ups and at the same time in good company of those ones around their age. For those people who have children under 14 there are other more complex playgrounds , and if it turns out that you are a sporty father and you are not too bothered in playing up and down  you can find other options as well, such as: tennis pitch, basquetball, football, picnic area, a little climbing, among other activities.

It is true though that not all the parks are equiped with the same stuff, but all of them seem to have a nice wide-opened grass area where with a bit of imagination you can enjoy an amusing daddy and daughter time.

So here you have some bits of what we usually do in our spare time with our little one, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes the whole bunch toghether.